i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
