You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
