Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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