I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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