just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
