I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
