Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
