You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
