is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
