HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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