is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
