My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Randomize
