For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
