yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
