I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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