there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
