Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
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