you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
