Porn is love you can see.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize