We're like a lot better than the average bears
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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