Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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