in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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