How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
