That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
