dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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