Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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