My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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