hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
