I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
