I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think my vagina is haunted
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
