Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
