Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize