I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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