What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize