Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
