She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
