just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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