nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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