Pants 0. Shit 1.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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