dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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