So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I cannot find my penis.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize