I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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