nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
