Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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