I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
