He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
