I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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