Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
