What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
