Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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