Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize