On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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