he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
