i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
