Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My dick has a subreddit
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
