Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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