no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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