She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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