she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
