The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
