margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
