I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
