you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
