so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Buhtt sex?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
