Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
