she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
