If i come over, it means nothing
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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