Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
