why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
