Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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