apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
they need to just BURY HIM!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
