Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
