CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Who died my cat blue again?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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