all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
if only i could text you this smell
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
