do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize