my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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