we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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