I want to make a zoo with you.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
whose parrot is this?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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