I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
