so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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