im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
