I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She needs sedatives and a leash
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize